The Darvocet & Green Jello Diet

The view from a hospital bed is, to my mind, one of the strangest. It consists, mostly, of faces, both concerned and discerning, and of pseudo-cheery decor which doesn't quite hide the machines and instruments which hiss, whirrrrr, bleep, and tell all of your secrets.

It was from this bed I rediscovered two things, the first being that I'm really still no bigger than I was in high school. For some reason, I go around thinking of myself as taller and having a more commanding presence. There is nothing like a pre-surgical hospital gurney to knock you down to the very essence of who and what you are and how fragile and fleeting an earthly life really is. I felt positively tiny lying there, IV ready, and blankets from the warming oven pilled high to stop the shivering. Second, some people are family because we are born to them and they to us, and some are our family because we adopt one another along the way. I have always known that I am tremendously blessed in my family and circle of friends.

If you were to ask me how I am today, I would have to quote a well known financial speaker and adviser and say, "Better than I deserve!"

Yes, everything went even better than expected, in spite of a few unexpected complications, and I am mending. Ready to get back on the bicycle trails, ready to try out that new, lighter crossbow, and ready to adopt some more friends. I hope you will add to your circle this year.

Blessings to all of you. I'll be back really soon.

I'm in!

Block One - Blue Bird, originally uploaded by OrgandyCupcakes.

Just dropping in quickly to say I'm still alive.

For some reason, neither playing music nor knitting have held any interest for me,, since my treatment began. This is a big deal. Really big. I mean, if you know me, you know that music and knitting are normally a part of every day for me.

I have, however, been piecing quilt blocks. Piecing them in a fashion which really isn't usual for me, i.e. without much of a plan. I have to say that I am really happy with them. I think this will be a fun quilt. So many different fabrics and salvaged pieces of vintage linens and embroideries. Have you ever been home in bed, with a miserable cold (or something worse), and spent hours staring at the drapes or your bedclothes? This is the kind of quilt that gives you lots to look at, to soak in and enjoy, to soothe your frayed nerves. At least, that is my hope.

I kept thinking I needed to bring a little order to this obsession.

Et Voila. Elizabeth is holding a Quilt-A-Long! She has already shared so much good information. If you are new to quilting, you will find the posts soooo useful.

I have had a complete set of Denyse Schmidt's original "Flea Market Fancy" fat quarters, from her first line since, oh, probably the day they became available. I have jealously hoarded them and never found a project exciting enough to entice me to cut into them. I think now is the time. And I just bought a lovely red chinese latern/dragonfly fabric at Hancock Fabrics recently. I wasn't sure what I would use it for but I think it would be great for part of the backing. Maybe all of it, since it is a print, I don't think I want a different print below the strip of blocks and I have PLENTY of the lantern fabric. Pictures soon.

In the meantime, here's the first block of the scrappy, part courthouse steps, part log cabin, somewhat looney, quilt in progress.

I feel better already!

Lupron Neutron

I'm thinking I should legally change my name to Lupron Neutron. If only I could harvest the radiant heat which seems to have engulfed me! I'm sure I could supply power to a small town.

I found a wonderful doctor. I did plenty of homework before my appointment with her and had studied all the options currently available. I'm happy to say that she discussed them fully without any prodding from me. So many physicians want to do the easiest procedure instead of the best and most appropriate.

We agreed on a course of treatment which will give me the best chance of the outcome I want. I am undergoing a series of Lupron injections to shrink the tumor. It should shrink between 35% to 50% making it far easier to remove surgically without nicking surrounding organs or having to take other stuff with it.

The side effects of the drug are, um, interesting to say the least. The most noticeable being hot flashes, which I will refer to as power surges from this sentence forward. They're weird. I had never had one before and now I have one or two per hour. I am a person who has always gotten cold easily. You would think that I would just be warm now but, not so. Instead it's a bit like having a fever with chills all the time.

I would like to thank everyone for all the concern and good wishes. I'm going to be fine. I'm just very uncomfortable at the moment but it won't last and I'll be back to my old, annoying self!

THE DOUBTFUL GUEST:

"When they answered the bell on that wild winter night,
there was no one expected - and no one in sight.
Then they saw something standing on top of an urn,
Whose peculiar appearance gave them quite a turn."
--Edward Gorey

For many months I have felt not quite myself but not horrible. Unable to put my finger on what was wrong. Last month, I bought new jeans and had to buy a size 6 instead of the usual 4. Berating myself and wondering how this could happen, I ramped up my workouts. Then I started feeling pain in my lower right quadrant. My appendix got the big snip in 1983 so that couldn't be the problem. I assumed I had strained my abs and eased off the resistance training a bit. It got worse instead of better.

Tuesday I had an ultrasound and found that I have a benign tumor in my abdomen, the size of a regulation softball. It's pressing on my spine, the nerves to my right leg, and various organs.

So. Good news, actually Great News: not cancer and not embedded in any organ. Mediocre news: It will have to come out.

And I want it out. It's an univited guest making the rest of me uncomfortable and anemic. It's very weird to think there is something inside that size and I only just became aware of it!

Don't know the schedule for this yet but posts may continue to be scant for a little while.